Hollister Co.

This letter is based on a bad experience a friend had at Hollister.

This is in fact a photo of the actual potato that was sent to them

Here it is in it's shipping container.

I expected a quick response. When none had arrived after about a month I wrote back.

I'm not too excited about Tom's reply.

They never answered my followup. I have reason to believe they found this website and decided not to play my reindeer games anymore.

Chevrolet

This was based on a real trip into Manhattan late at night for Krispy Kreme donuts. My address includes "Suite 211" as a nod to one of my favorite bands, the Ominous Seapods. In Seapods lore the # 211 holds important significance and great things occur in relation to it.






Finally! Someone wants my idea. Or at least claims to file it away.

I should have probably filled out the form and resubmitted the idea. Then again, no reason I can't ask them now why my idea from 1999 has yet to be implemented.

TDK Electronics

Barney Norman makes another appearance. He's still fascinated with spuds. I figured at best they'd send the $2.00 back. I originally wrote this letter without specifically addressing it to TDK. When I was done I thought they should be the ones to receive it.

I'm not sure if it looks it but both the envelope and address label are over sized. The letter they sent is normal size. I guess they like big envelopes.

They seem concerned, sort of. But if they really cared an actual person would have signed their name to this.

Garden State Plaza

This letter might represent the one and only appearance of Mr. Bubbles. I haven't cross checked the archives but I'm pretty sure. Hal likes to accept things, even when they haven't been offered. For those not familiar with this mall, it's worth noting it's grown so large, it deserves it's own zip code.

Don't make Hal angry, he'll be forced to call on his fake attorney Carl Lindroski. You won't like Carl if he's mad.

The last sentence of this response makes every minute I spend writing these letters worth it. THAT'S the type of reaction I'm looking for.

Amtrak

If I remember correctly when I wrote this one I was recalling a case from Ally McBeal. I'm pretty sure John "The Biscuit" Cage (Played brilliantly by Peter MacNicol) defended someone with IBS. My fake Attorney Carl Lindroski makes an appearance in the CC of this letter. I suppose if this were a real situation copying my attorney might make sense. Usually I CC random people such as B-List Celebrities.

It's apparent neither Amtrak nor Sara get the joke here. They don't want me on their train. But more than that they don't want my head barrister slapping their asses with a discrimination suit.