Mocha Mix

This actually happened to me. Well I stopped after 2 creamers and read the package. I'm usually not quite as extreme in real life as I am in my letters.





How could I not be mislead by the name? It says Mocha!

Coupons!? I asked for a T-SHIRT!

Nissan

Hal was confused by all the "Scared-Shit Handles" in his Xterra. They seemed like fair questions.







Visual aids help get the point across.

Hal doesn't like it when people misspell his made up last name.

Sadly this second communication was not responded to. You would think since he was kind enough to send some Red Bull they would have answered his questions.



They weren't even impressed that he went on for over 800 words.

Evian

There were a couple of things I wanted to accomplish with this letter. 1) Get a free t-shirt 2) Mention my non-existent Goldfish. I guess 1 out of 2 is OK.




Considering all the love I dropped on them they could have been more effusive towards me. This was clearly a sign that I should switch to Poland Spring!

Does ANYONE remember a bottle that could be compacted like this? I sure don't!

Exxon

Don't tell me it never occurred to you that the tiger Exxon has used in their ad campaigns looks a lot like Tony the Tiger of Frosted Flakes fame?






15 years of loyal consumer-ship and they come up with a 15 minute phone card?

Nothing like a TWENTY PAGE Catalog of Exxon merchandise. Seriously, who would actually buy this stuff?

Dave Thomas of Wendy's

Generally speaking when writing a company with a special request, I like to go to the top. This was the case with Wendy's. A rare appearance by my fake fiance/wife Betty

At least they have nice envelopes.

This entire response is a bit of a surprise to me. Especially the fact that their biggest concern is alcohol, which I never mentioned.

Hormel Foods 2

If you haven't read the first Hormel letter yet you should look at that before reading this one. I already had a response from Hormel I was happy with so I was playing with the Houses money. Figured cranking the insanity up a notch couldn't hurt.

Kelly is even more abrupt this time. She seems annoyed. And she returned the tea (and the $10). I wonder if I should write her again. She didn't really tell me the first time that they don't deal directly with consumers. Why would Kelly lie?

A Third Hormel letter can be found here.

Kellog's

I thought playing the discrimination card would guarantee a response, and a quick one.

When I realized I was wrong I decided to wait extra long to followup. Unlike my more recent letters the followup isn't that zany.

I'm not convinced by their response. This should have been handled higher up in the Kellog's organization. At least it's specific.

Coupons are always good.

Who can top Snap, Crackle & Pop propaganda!?