Tuesday, January 8, 2008

White Castle

I believe the first letter to White Castle was also Umberto's debut. This original letter was based on actually getting way too much Ketchup on some burgers. Although nothing bad came of this, I feel like this series of letters between myself and various people at White Castle should be called "The White Castle Fiasco."

Strap yourself if before reading these, there are quite a few letters in "The White Castle Fiasco."

Form letters disturb me to begin with, but when they are also so generic as to be factually inaccurate they bother me more. Obviously I didn't call, I wrote!

Before too long another response arrived. Quickly I realized that the folks over at White Castle, REALLY do aim to please.

My follow-up was a touch more irritated. And I decided to copy the home office in addition to the local person they seemed to want me to correspond with. Little did he know what was in store for him.

I give them credit. No matter who I wrote or copied, they all responded.

Harry decided to switch fonts. I guess he was feeling fancy that day.

Finally! Coupons. And they look just like White Castle Hamburgers. Nice.

Figured I'd reiterate my inability to communicate to telephone to Theresa too. No one seems want to mention that for a guy claiming to work 2 jobs I seem to have plenty of time to write letters.

Theresa wasn't fooling around. She sent more of those coupons shaped like hamburgers.

I can't imagine why they need a letter to replace a meal like this. Wouldn't more coupons worked as well. It would have been cheaper for them to cut me a check for a few dollars than to keep writing me.

I guess this one was for Umberto.

Since they had been so responsive it seemed appropriate to contact Harry again and tell him my faith was restored. I was also hoping for some free Swag.

Once again Harry wrote back with lightning speed.

Alas no free t-shirts. But he did send this catalog and a whole book of $1.00 coupons. White Castle money! They really like sending out coupons.

You would think my communication with them was over. Really, what more could I ask them about or for. Well about 7 months passed since I had last written them and an idea hit me to up the ante.

Mark's response surprised me. I expected to be completely shot down immediately.

Now that Mark Cole had directed me to contact Harry again, I felt free reign to dial the madness up and give more details.

I was pretty surprised when over a month passed with no response. Not even a form letter with coupons? Obviously I needed to write them back.

Interesting that Harry didn't turn me down himself. I guess he figured I'd go right back to the Corporate Office which is a safe bet. Maybe I scared Harry when I invited him to the wedding?

I might have found this more amusing if they had agreed to host my fake wedding. Oh well you can't have it all. And thus ends my communication with White Castle. I think I went as far as I could with them. I imagine another letter or so and they would have stopped responding.

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