Thumann's Inc.

To fully appreicate this letter, I highly reccomend first reading Hormel Foods, Hormel Foods 2 and Hormel Foods 3.

I must give Thumann's credit for responding quickly. Obviously after reading this letter I believe it's pretty apparent what my next move is.

Federal Bureau of Prisons

I wrote the first version of this letter in January of 2006 and sent it to the Warden at Leavenworth Prison. He never responded. So in December of 2007 I decided to revamp it and send it to the Federal Bureaus of Prisons. This is definitely a case where I enjoyed blabbering on about nothing.

The number 211 holds special significance in the world of The Ominous Seapods, one of my favorite bands.

The significance stems from the date 2/11. So how appropriate that they responded on February 11th! I was glad they kept the tea.

Mr. Rogers

People have asked me if I ever felt bad about any of the letters I write. Considering they're really meant in good fun, the answer is no. Well mostly. I think this letter to Mr. Rogers, tame as it is made me feel slightly bad. It's Mr. Rogers, I didn't want to offend him. I grew up with him.

Well It looks like Fred took things in stride. I should have known he would.

The New Jersey Sports & Exposition Authority

I thought I would get some sort of response to this letter. A cease & desist perhaps. Truth is I don't know how the night went. I spent the evening of 12/31/99 at Madison Square Garden.

Maxwell House Coffee

Ah flavored coffee! It seems Hal likes a special blend.




Kudos to my buddy Brian Vermeire for once again hitting a design homerun on this can of cofffee!

Kim McMiller doesn't seem amused. Truth is I'm not sure SHE exists!?

Clearly I needed to followup with Kim or whoever is writing these form letters

Hal sent his less flashy resume this time


Who wouldn't like a gift mermaid?

Kim I guess. Perhaps it's time to write her AGAIN and see if she exists.

ABC Television

This continues my trend of professing some strange sort of "monogamy" to a corporation. And of course this letter includes one hell of a good idea!







Could it get any more generic?!

Hormel Foods 3

If you have yet to read the first Hormel letter or the second Hormel letter, you should read them both before this one.

I found Kelly's 2nd response unsatisfactory and needed to get in touch with her again. My guess was that the 2nd to last line would guarantee a response from the legal department.

Considering the brevity of response 1 and 2 Kelly really hit a home run this time. I think it's farily safe to say that we may be done writing each other now.

This is the envelope clearly made out to Umberto and the outside of the card.

And of course the inside of the card.

In addition to these lovely SPAM items they also included pages and pages of recipes. Upwards of 60 recipes printed on 25 or so pages.

There is an associated letter to Thumann's Inc.