New York Department of Transportation

I try to get to Boston each Baseball Season to catch The Yankees at Fenway. In 1998 I noticed something out of the ordinary.

This response is further proof that government employees are dull and boring...

Frito Lay

Hal often has ideas to make existing products better, this is one of those times. I'd written Frito Lay in 1998, Now it was Hal's turn

This is basically a slightly personalized form letter. At least they mentioned Olga. Hal always seemed like more of a Lacey or Misty kind of guy to me.

Such a great idea and all they sent was some lousy coupons!?

Frito Lay

I decided to write to Frito Lay. It seemed that their "Rold Gold' product was a natural partner for the "Non-Shop" concept.

All letters from "Gabe's Non-Shop" go out with this handy, informational pamphlet. Brian designed this and I think the "Non-Shop" concept may have been his idea or suggestion.

Their response is generic. They even sent the original letter back.

Hollister Co.

This letter is based on a bad experience a friend had at Hollister.

This is in fact a photo of the actual potato that was sent to them

Here it is in it's shipping container.

I expected a quick response. When none had arrived after about a month I wrote back.

I'm not too excited about Tom's reply.

They never answered my followup. I have reason to believe they found this website and decided not to play my reindeer games anymore.

Brown Sheep Company

A new letter AND the debut of a new alias. Only time will tell if he sticks. Is Aunt Ernestine the new Uncle Irwin?

Not sure why but I'm digging this envelope.

A classic hand written response. Someone actually spent more than 30 seconds on this. Kudos to them!

Warner Brothers Studio Stores

For some reason when it came to cartoon characters, Elmer J. Fudd was always my man. I feel like he's gotten short shrift though, respect wise. This letter addresses that.

I waited 10 months and this is the best they could do? Bastards!

Joe's American Bar & Grill

Barney Norman LOVES his potatoes. I really expected a cease & desist on this one.

WD-40

Something about the whole mistaken identity thing I've always liked. Not too tough to understand why they didn't write back I suppose.

Baskin Robbins 2-5

I wrote my first letter to Baskin Robbins in 1997. I recommend reading it first. A moment or two after posting it on this website I decided to write them back. The funniest thing to me about this followup is that I assume this fellow Todd still has the same exact position 10 years later even though they were bought out by Dunkin Donuts and moved their office across the country.

It makes me laugh when the return my original letter. Particularly when they make up the envelope.

This response wasn't going to satisfy me.

Especially when two identical ones (well almost) arrived the same day.

Generally if I have 2 responses from a company I feel like I'm playing with the houses money and I up the insanity quotient. Poor Jennifer... well, poor someone.

I was stunned that she couldn't accept my offer. Well not really.

3 Responses in? Nice! Time to get angrier!

Damn, Jennifer (or whoever) got tired of me and passed me on. They included 3 of these $2 coupons.

It's interesting that no one mentioned that I changed my pet from a Cat to a dog and back again using 2 different names. If it were me, I would have called the lunatic writing these on that.

Finally! They kept the money. I had decided to keep writing them until such time as they kept the money or had their legal department ask me not the write them again. Finally they sent me a list. Well all they did was print this out. And NOT even in color. Someone over at Dunkin Brands is a bit cheap. Somewhat sadly and/or oddly this is the end of my communication with Baskin Robbins...for now!

Denny's

During college there was something about Denny's that was mystifying, almost magical in an ironic way. A couple of years later I wrote them this letter. I expected a nice response.

This response didn't satisfy me in the least. However in the summer of 1997 I had yet to really get into the whole followup letter idea that I've enjoyed since. And by the time I did this letter was sort of forgotten,

In February of 2008 I was about to post the 1997 Denny's letter and an idea occurred to me. What if I sent them the SAME letter again 10 1/2 years later? Would the response be similar? Would they have some nutty filing system whereby my original was still on file? I had to know. I changed the name slightly and checked their web page to make sure the menu items I mentioned were current (I haven't been to "the den" in quite awhile.) Other than that I resent the letter pretty much as it was written in 1997. Then I waited.

On April 2, 2008 I had my answer. A box beckoned on my doorstep when I returned from work. The contents is pictured below. Sadly, there was NO LETTER!. Well it took 10 1/2 years but i finally got my mugs. They don't seem as sturdy as the ones I remember, plus I was hoping for 4. I guess I'll write them again in July of 2018 and see what happens.

Flambeau Inc. 2

Before reading this second communication with Flambeau I recommend reading the original. The idea with this second letter was to get a little nuttier




This is the postcard I sent. I'm not sure why, but I REALLY enjoyed suggesting she hang it in her cubicle at work. For all I know she has a corner office with a view.

I really thought the 2nd response would be similar to the first. Of all the responses I imagined, this was NOT one of them. There was no actual letter. Just 3 things. This invoice and....

TWO Yo-Yo's! If anyone is wondering, they kept the $10.00. I think it was a bargain though. I did a web search and these things go for $16 or so apiece.

Burger King

This letter is noteworthy for two reasons. 1) It represents the first time I mentioned Hal Rantello in a letter. 2) It was NEVER mailed. The problem with mailing it was I've always been unable to get a really good photo of Hal. So I waited and waited to mail it. Hal's resume was also just being written at this point. If you want to see what it ended up looking like it's available here.



It always bothered me that Hal's first mention went unsent and largely unread. I needed to correct that. So in December of 2007 I decided to straighten it out.

I expected a bit more than this in the reply

When I wrote the third Burger King Letter the envelope looked like this. Well this is what it looked like when they mailed it back to me. Silly burger people

This third letter needed to be a touch angrier. I was shooting for a cease and desist letter via registered mail or perhaps even overnight.

This is not exactly what I was hoping for, but neither Hal or I are complaining.

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

When I wrote this particular letter I was contacting a litany of lesser known organizations. My main thing here was people trying to change terms to sugar coat things. So NO, I wasn't making fun of them or their organization. I was poking fun at society.

I expected a nasty response. This was quite a bit tamer than what I anticipated.

President Bill Clinton

When I was a kid I wrote to President Ford and he sent me a picture. In 1997 I figured I might be able to get an autographed photo from President Clinton.

The generic form letter doesn't surprise me. The fact that I didn't get a photo, did.

Flambeau Inc.

This letter would not exist if my friend Marty hadn't suggested I write Flambeau. Along with that suggestion he provided some information on the history of the Yo-Yo that a friend had passed along to him.






This response is short, sweet and quick. Not sure if there is a follow-up in here or not. Time will tell.

A Second letter to Flambeau is available here.